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We All Need a Little Help from a Friend

Loneliness and its impact on our health


girl on swing

The pandemic brought the issue of loneliness to the forefront and highlighted the importance of social connection. It allowed us to see in real-time how social connection and the lack of it affects our health and wellbeing. Our lives have built-in opportunities for connection that we tend to take for granted until they’re taken away. In childhood, we connect with others at school, play with neighborhood friends or siblings, and participate in sports and extracurricular activities. In adulthood, connections often come from our work communities, friends, family, and hobbies. These natural connections become so constant that we don't think about their impact on us until they disappear. Connection is the life force of so many things–community, healing, health, positive change.


Loneliness and its Impact on our Health


loneliness report cover

In the summer of  2023 the US Surgeon General issued a statement declaring loneliness a public health epidemic. “Mental health is the defining public health crisis of our time, and for many Americans, loneliness is at the heart of that crisis. At any given moment, about one out of every two of our fellow citizens is experiencing measurable levels of loneliness. It is not something we talk about or easily see: Loneliness is a condition that is hidden in the shadows.”


Loneliness is more than just the absence of company; it's a deep-seated feeling of isolation and disconnection from others. It can arise from various circumstances, including social isolation, lack of meaningful relationships, or even amidst a crowd where one feels misunderstood or unseen.


The Toll on Mental Health

Loneliness has a profound impact on mental health, contributing to a range of emotional struggles:

  • Depression and Anxiety: Chronic loneliness is closely linked to depression and anxiety disorders, as individuals may feel hopeless, worthless, or constantly on edge.

  • Low Self-Esteem: Prolonged feelings of loneliness can erode self-esteem, leading to a distorted self-image and a sense of inadequacy.

  • Rumination: Lonely individuals may ruminate over negative thoughts and experiences, exacerbating feelings of isolation and despair.

  • Psychosis: For those experiencing psychosis, loneliness has been linked to increased hallucinations and paranoid thinking. 


The Burden on Physical Health

social connection cigarettes

Beyond its effects on mental well-being, loneliness can also take a toll on physical health:

  • Increased Stress: Lonely individuals often experience higher levels of stress, which can contribute to elevated blood pressure, heart disease, and other cardiovascular issues.

  • Weakened Immune System: Chronic loneliness has also been linked to a weakened immune system, making individuals more susceptible to infections and illnesses.

  • Cardiovascular Issues: Elevated blood pressure, increased risk of heart disease and negative impact on heart rhythm has also been connected to chronic loneliness.

  • Inflammation: Studies have shown that loneliness can trigger inflammatory responses in the body, which are associated with a host of chronic conditions, including arthritis and diabetes.

Our body's responses for safety and self-regulation are connected to our biological need to belong and be a part of a community. Making sure we have ways to connect and have a supportive community system is just as vital to our lives as our other health and wellness routines. We may need different things at different times and there's no one-size-fits-all in terms of community and connection, but learning different options and models for connection can help create the roadmap to building a healthy life system. 


Community is a Vital Part of All Recovery


vital components of social connection

Whether you are in recovery from a  substance use disorder or mental health condition, grieving the loss of a loved one, or going through major life changes like healing from a physical illness; community is a critical part of that healing. Research has shown time and time again that connection, community and support systems play a significant role in our ability to adapt and heal. We may need others to help with physical needs or just be there to listen, we all need connection.






Ways To Connect

  • Reach Out to Friends and Family: Take the initiative to reach out to friends and family members regularly. Schedule phone calls, video chats, or meet-ups to maintain connections and strengthen relationships.

  • Join Social Groups or Clubs: Seek out local social groups, clubs, or hobby communities where you can meet like-minded individuals. Whether it's a book club, hiking group, or volunteer organization, participating in group activities provides opportunities for social interaction and connection.

  • Attend Community Events: Keep an eye out for community events, festivals, or gatherings in your area. Attending these events can provide opportunities to meet new people and engage in shared interests or activities.

  • Volunteer: Volunteer your time and skills to support causes or organizations you care about. Volunteering not only contributes to the community but also allows you to connect with others who share your passion for making a difference.

  • Take Classes or Workshops: Enroll in classes or workshops that interest you, whether it's cooking, painting, or dance. These classes not only provide opportunities for personal growth but also facilitate interactions with classmates and instructors.

  • Utilize Online Platforms: Use online platforms and social media to connect with others who share your interests or experiences. Join online communities, forums, or social networking groups to engage in discussions, share advice, and build virtual connections.

  • Attend Support Groups: If you're dealing with specific challenges, consider joining a support group. Whether it's a support group for mental health, grief, or a particular health condition, these groups provide a supportive environment to connect with others coping with similar experiences.

  • Explore Outdoor Activities: Spend time outdoors and engage in activities such as walking, hiking, or gardening. Connecting with nature can have therapeutic effects and provide opportunities for solitude or socializing with others.

  • Practice Active Listening: When interacting with others, practice active listening by giving your full attention and showing genuine interest in what they have to say. Building meaningful connections requires mutual understanding and empathy.

  • Seek Professional Help: If feelings of loneliness persist or significantly impact your well-being, don't hesitate to seek support from a therapist, counselor, or mental health professional. They can provide valuable guidance, support, and strategies for coping with loneliness.

Special Tips for Young Children and Older Adults

Children may need some extra care and help navigating connection friendship and building connections. You can do this by talking with them about their feelings, reading books with them on friendship, encouraging them to cultivate their interests, or setting up playdates with classmates or other children. Additionally the older people get, connections may dwindle as friends and loved ones pass away. Going through these life-altering experiences and possibly dealing with decreased mobility can make it harder to foster connections. The Southwestern Connecticut Agency on Aging and Independent living is a great resource. You can find listings for your local senior centers and other programs and services available to seniors. 




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